Reeva – it is so unfair!

Ice Model Management via AP

Ice Model Management via AP

This gorgeous face is Reeva Steenkamp.  She was a law school graduate, model, reality actress, spokesperson against rape and … the latest victim of domestic violence.

I will start by saying I believe in due process.  I believe everyone should have their day in court.  I also believe everyone has the right to a trial.  With that said, my opinion in this case is that she will never get justice.

On Valentine morning sometime between midnight and 3:20am Reeva was gunned down in the home or her boyfriend – South African Olympic start Oscar Pistorius. City Press reports that there were no signs of forced entry and Reeva was found in her nightie.  There was an overnight bag in the bedroom along with her Ipad and the bed appeared to be slept in.

“One cartridge was found in the bedroom and the police suspect Oscar may have “chased” her and fired the first shot before Steenkamp could lock herself inside the toilet.

“The suspicion is that the first shot, in the bedroom, hit her in the hip. She then ran and locked herself in the toilet. She was doubled over because of the pain. He fired three more shots. She probably covered her head, which is why the bullet also went through her hand,” said a source.

Steenkamp was shot in the head, hip, arm and hand”

Neighbors reported yelling before the incident.  Police also report they had previously responded to the home for an “incident domestic in nature”.  Uuugh!

Reeva tweet

one of her final tweets

My first instinct is that they got into a heated argument and he just lost it.  I don’t understand the attraction to having a tumultuous relationship or how it is glamorized by calling it “passionate”.

Violence and discord is not sexy.  It never ends well and the woman is usually the one to suffer the harshest consequences.

In this case, I believe this man will skate.  It is the O.J. Simpson trial all over again.  He is the national hero in South Africa.  Online they are claiming support from all over the world for this “hero”.

How about withholding support of the one who is still breathing until after the trial?  She. Is. Dead.  Not dead from a single gunshot wound.  No. She was shot 4 times.  The one on her hand is clearly a defensive wound.  It is a natural instinct to cover ourselves with our hands even though they can do nothing to shield us from bullets.

She, as well as many before her, and sadly, many after her will die because they stay in bad relationships.  Pretending that everything is wonderful, or he will change, or it’s sexy, or it’s not that bad, or I will make this better, or any other excuse you tell yourself to gloss over the truth….is not going to make it better and you risk your life and the lives of your children and family if you continue to stay.

You are wonderful and fabulous and deserve to be with someone who sees you for those qualities and treats you like if they are the luckiest guy in the world.

Stay Fabulous!

Cathy Steinberg



7 thoughts on “Reeva – it is so unfair!

    • So sorry about your experience. It is a shame when they use words like “crime of passion” to make it sensational and alluring instead of calling it what it is….an act of evil brutality!

      • Its ridiculous just like the OJ Simpson situation. When I appeared on the Oprah show back in 1994 the topic was about how the media sensationalizes these crimes. It was the same with my situation.

        • The reality is things will not change until we stand up and force change to happen. We need to take steps to changing the social perception of these crimes and these criminals.

          • Cathy I agree, I was fortunate a few years back to speak in front of the US Senate in regards to DV and resources needed for victims and survivors. Also locally in Oregon with the House of Rep. I seem to gather support for awhile from others and then they fade away. It’s an uphill battle all the time. There are several talk shows that have again contacted me again due to my blog and book to follow. I am going to wait to appear until I have book in hand as 50% of proceeds are going to help children and women who have suffered DV. Also I am trying to rally support and as well as an advocate to appear with me.

            • Let’s chat. If you read my bio on my site I have considerable experience in dealing with criminals, victims, and personal safety. I am also a survivor and a women’s advocate. I will send you an email when I get out if the office today. Lets get this movement rolling!

Comments are closed.